Lindsey-Star (jaded_twylite) wrote,

Why it might be bad to jump from a freeway overpass...

So maybe it's been more than a week. Fuck it. Shut up. Who cares?

Anyways, it might be bad to jump from a freeway overpass, because...well....

ah fuck it, just jump. You aren't doing anything better. Have a nice day!
So, seriously, my brother got married last Friday, still seems weird. I feel old. Yay. I got to go after not being sure I could go. (Thank you Chris and Nick.) I'm SO glad I didn't have to miss it.

Made me think about my own marriage...
Jake was my best friend for the longest time, because he was my only friend for the longest time. You just can't replace late nights of playing spades and watching The History Channel. We had many great times and insane adventures and it was a lot of fun...most of the time. I enjoyed spending time with him. We were great friends and probably should have just stayed that way instead of getting married and trying to have a family. Suburbia was just far too overwhelming for both of us and we just aren't those type of people. We tried to be "one of them" and we failed miserably. Now our children are the remnants of...the memories of...the souvenirs of a failed attempt to be something we weren't.

I very much care for Jake and always will, he's a good friend and the father of my children. I hold no regret and no grudges against him. I wasn't perfect either. I am not the "stay-at-home mommy" type. I never will be. I was too busy trying to work on college and my career to pay any attention to the family I was building. I am paying for it now. My children don't even respond when I speak most times. I wasn't there to teach them to listen to me too...only Jake was, because I left him home caring for the kids, while I made sure I was as busy as possible to avoid dealing with the kids or the house.

So, maybe I do have a regret about the whole thing. Maybe I regret not being a more "hands on" member of the family rather than being the breadwinner.

Can we say "Control Freaks Anonymous?"

Ha ha Lindsey.
Ha ha.
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